Moms of Littles – Elementary Part 2

Hello again! Two posts in one week! Can you believe it? Yep, I’m definitely on Spring Break. 😉

I’m glad you stopped by for Part 2 of my elementary age tips. Let’s jump right in for a few more tips.

Give the Teacher/Adult the Benefit of the Doubt

Children have such a different perception of things that you have to ask questions to understand what the teacher/adult might have been thinking sometimes.

I still remember Harley telling me, “Shane kicked me in the leg.” Shane was her bus driver.

Of course, I was on high alert. “What do you mean he kicked you?”

“He just kicked me right in the leg!”

With a few more questions, I was able to determine that her leg was out in the aisle as he was walking by and he accidentally “kicked” her leg.

I have several examples of this, but I’ll spare you even if they do make me giggle. Just give the adult the benefit of the doubt (unless you already have reason not to) and ask questions for clarification.

Don’t Believe Everything Your Child Says

Your child is going to tell you the version of a story that they think will get them in the least trouble. Remember that. Again, asking questions will eventually trip them up and the truth will come out. If not, approach the teacher or adult to find out what happened.

When Harley started school, I became the school secretary. While I wasn’t in the same building with the kids, I was easily accessible throughout the day. We rode to school every day, they hopped on the bus to go to their building, and then they would come hang out in my office after school for a few minutes. I was the secretary for three years while I worked toward my teaching degree.

The year I started student teaching, I had a little bit of “mom guilt” going on because I was no longer going to be with them. Chaz had been in my building the year before, so I got to be his school secretary. Harley was disappointed that I wouldn’t be hers and both the kids were just a little bummed that I wasn’t going to be in their district anymore.

First day of school (Chaz’s 4th grade year), I got a call from the principal. There had been an incident. I’m not going to give all the details, but in short, Chaz claimed it was an accident. He was in tears and upset because someone had been hurt.

I felt horrible. Mom guilt took over. His first day of school had been awful, and I wasn’t there for him. I believed every word he said.

That night as I lay in bed, I began to think about his version of what happened. You could say the Lord began to work on my heart to stop letting that guilt cloud my judgment and realize that boy was lying! There was no way the incident could have been an “accident.”

I was waiting for him at the breakfast table the next morning (remember those routines we talked about). I confronted him about my suspicions, and he admitted that he had lied. He was just joking around and trying to have fun, but it didn’t turn out that way.

Of course, I told him he would march directly into the principal’s office and admit that he had lied. I also told him that whatever consequence the principal decided upon was fine with us, and he would have consequences at home.

If I had let “mom guilt” win–or if I had simply believed his version of the story–he would have gotten away with it!

So remember, don’t believe everything your child says. And ask lots of questions.

***Poor Chaz. His one attempt to be ornery at school turned out so badly, he never wanted to risk it again! Ha!

Stop Rescuing Them

I know this is a hard one, but it is so important!

Don’t rescue them every time they forget something. Don’t try to protect them from every natural consequence to their actions. They need to learn responsibility. They also need to learn that no one is perfect. They will make mistakes and learning from those mistakes is what is important.

Your child needs to understand there are consequences to their actions. When they come home from school complaining they missed out on something, do not call the school and try to “force” the teacher to give your child what they wanted. All of the teachers I know, myself included, go out of our way to try and give students EVERY opportunity to make the right choices so they can avoid disappointing consequences. Talk to your child about why they missed out on whatever it is they are upset about and encourage them to make better choices next time.

Get Creative with Life Lessons

This one may be my favorite, but I’m not sure my kids would say the same. 😉

Sometimes when you notice an undesirable behavior or character trait developing in your child, you have to get a little creative. I’ll give you my favorite example. It was extreme, but my kids still talk about it sometimes so I know it made an impact

I had noticed that Chaz and Harley had started complaining about some aspect of dinner almost every night. They were showing signs of being very ungrateful, and I was getting really tired of the complaints. Chaz liked all food—except spaghetti. He would eat it, but he just did not prefer it. At the time, we had spaghetti quite often because it was an affordable meal. We sat down to dinner and the complaints started, “Spaghetti again?” and “Why do we always have to have spaghetti?”

The next week, I sat the kids down and told them that I was tired of the complaints about dinner. I wanted them to learn what it took to plan, shop, and prepare meals on a budget. I told them they would be making the menu and grocery list. Then I would take them to the store to do the shopping and they would be preparing meals for the week.

It was all fun and games until their list got way too long for our $100 budget. They had chosen several more expensive meals, so it was quite humorous when Chaz had to admit defeat and put spaghetti on the menu. I also had a lot of fun at the store pretending to be them and asking for all kinds of extras that were not on the list. We got a few odd looks, but it was truly priceless. In the end, I did not get any ice cream or candy bars! The shopping trip was just the beginning though. After a week of cooking the meals and cleaning up after them, the kids had a new appreciation for all the work behind those meals.

So that concludes my top tips for the elementary age. Stay tuned for the middle school years which definitely presented new challenges!

Part 1 – The Baby Years
Part 2 – Core Beliefs
Part 3 – Terrible 2s or is it 3s?
Part 4 – Discipline
Part 5 – Setting Expectations
Part 6 – Confronting Attitudes
Part 7 – Off to School…Or is it Homeschool?
Part 8 – Homeschooling Tips
Part 9 – Elementary Part I